YOLO...? Gosh, I'm sorry :P

Today, I wanted to do a more personal post. My experiences, mostly in the past year, have influenced the way I already live and the way I'm going to live the rest of my life. In high school, I fell in love with theatre. It was what I loved to do; I was the theatre girl. When the time came for college, however, I figured that acting would be a completely unrealistic and ridiculous career to pursue. Who actually makes a living acting? Very few people. So, I decided that I was interested in psychology and that was it. I committed to the University of Cincinnati and began to study psychology. I quickly realized that psychology wasn't for me and that if I kept at it, I would be miserable. I needed a change.

I was in a theatre club at the time, but I felt as if I needed more. I had made friends with a few Dramatic Performance majors at CCM, or the College Conservatory of Music, at UC and was inspired by them almost immediately. Their talent is amazing and I still admire them greatly. I was just sitting in my dorm room one day, thinking about my future (as one does), and suddenly, something hit me. What is the point of your life if you're not going to be able to enjoy yourself? Sure, working is necessary and is rarely super fun, but one's career should be something that you are at least interested in. I decided then and there that I would audition for CCM's Dramatic Performance department. Why not? What did I have to lose? If I was successful, I would be able to pursue something that I'm truly passionate about and if I failed, I would at least have learned some life lessons. So, I took the plunge. 

My headshot hahahaha. S/O to my dad for taking it in my dining room!

I prepared for my audition for months and struggled through all of the awful paperwork needed to apply to college. I did it all by myself and, let me tell you, it was SO MUCH FUN :/ I got help picking out monologues from some beautiful, lovely drama students friends of mine and they helped me to prepare. I am seriously so grateful that they did. I had no idea how to conduct myself in a serious audition and they helped me so much. My audition went well. I was terrified and nervous, but confident and excited at the same time. It was truly an incredible experience. As I left it, I was amazed at myself. I'm not someone to take a lot of risks, so taking this risk to try to make myself happier in life was kind of amazing for me. All I could do was wait. I waited for about two or three weeks, and then received a letter from CCM. Unfortunately, I didn't make it.

I was devastated in the moment. I couldn't think of what to do since I had no idea what major would be good for me now that the only one I wanted was out of the question. For a few weeks, I floundered around trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life, but eventually everything calmed down. After a few months, I started to really value the experience. I really went for what I want to do with my life. I took a chance and really, seriously tried. I still have the same dream and would eventually love to still be an actor, but the plan has changed now. I want to pursue an MFA (Master of Fine Arts) in Dramatic Performance from another school sometime in the future. Right now, I'm focusing on my English degree. I am just so glad that I had my weird epiphany at the end of last September. If I hadn't realized that I would be wasting my life if I pursued anything but what I love, I would have trudged through my college years studying something I don't care about, furthermore leading to a career I don't care about. I'm not about that life. So, as much as it sickens me to say it, YOLO. It's super true and it applies to almost everyone. Taking risks is how lives change, usually for the better. So, if you're nervous to do something or don't feel like taking a risk, take it anyway. Who knows what it may lead to, or what it will change about you? 

Stress

So, it has come to this. Finals have begun for many of us in the world of education and I couldn't be more sad/perturbed/anxious about it. I have always been a person who worries an awful lot about essentially everything. Relationships with friends and family, commitments, and I'm such a hypochondriac it's not even funny [flu season, am I right? :( ] But, probably more than anything [except the hypochondriac thing], I worry about school and my grades. I know that my family is paying an awful lot for my education and so I stress out about making the most of my education and making sure that I do well. This can, and does, create some problems when it comes to actually doing the work that I'm required to do, however. The thing is, when I begin to stress about all the work I have to do, I kind of shut down and can't really accomplish anything because I'm spiraling in a whirlpool of my own stress and anxiety. This was a very big problem for me in high school, and has calmed down somewhat in my college years so far [thank goodness!]. Because I have dealt with it for so many years, I thought I would share a couple tips that have been effective for me when it comes to dealing with stress.

1) Take deep breaths and count to 10 when you start to feel yourself panicking. This almost always helps me calm down and gives me time to concentrate on my counting instead of freaking out about all of the work I have to do. Ironically, I learned this from an ex-boyfriend of mine that ended up causing me incredible amounts of stress...moving on.

2) Make lists. I love organization so much and I feel like such a weirdo about it sometimes. Being organized makes me feel so much better and so much less stressed about my life in general. Although it may be a bit daunting to see all of the things you have to do written out in black and white in front of your face, it will feel so nice to check the things off of your list in the long run. Also, writing to-do lists generally help me remember things that I otherwise probably wouldn't have.

3) Give yourself breaks and time to sleep. I have never pulled an all-nighter in my life. I don't feel like it will give me any more productive time to get my work done. I mean, I'll probably just end up perusing YouTube anyway. Breaks and sleeping give your brain time to recharge and process what you've just crammed into it. Don't bully your brain by constantly pummeling it with information for hours on end. It will not be a happy brain in the long run.

4) If you let yourself start to really panic, walk away from the project/stress maker for a while. This one sort of goes with the one above, but I decided to make it it's own tip. When I was in high school, I would have legit panic attacks about Honors Chemistry. I couldn't wrap my brain around it and to my mind, which wouldn't accept a B grade at all, the C's I was getting in that class were devastating to me haha. When I started to panic, I had to walk away from the homework I was doing and go relax for a while. If I tried to keep going, I would only exasperate myself more and more until I reached a really unpleasant breaking point. Don't let that happen to you!

These are four tips that have helped me throughout my time in education, and I'm sure will continue to help me in the coming years. I seriously cannot stress organization enough; it will diminish so much extra, unneeded stress. And be kind to yourself over finals week and the weeks leading up to it. You have a lot of work that needs to get done, but you're also still a human that needs to be kind to yourself to remain happy and healthy. Best of luck on finals to everyone and Happy December! :)