YOLO...? Gosh, I'm sorry :P

Today, I wanted to do a more personal post. My experiences, mostly in the past year, have influenced the way I already live and the way I'm going to live the rest of my life. In high school, I fell in love with theatre. It was what I loved to do; I was the theatre girl. When the time came for college, however, I figured that acting would be a completely unrealistic and ridiculous career to pursue. Who actually makes a living acting? Very few people. So, I decided that I was interested in psychology and that was it. I committed to the University of Cincinnati and began to study psychology. I quickly realized that psychology wasn't for me and that if I kept at it, I would be miserable. I needed a change.

I was in a theatre club at the time, but I felt as if I needed more. I had made friends with a few Dramatic Performance majors at CCM, or the College Conservatory of Music, at UC and was inspired by them almost immediately. Their talent is amazing and I still admire them greatly. I was just sitting in my dorm room one day, thinking about my future (as one does), and suddenly, something hit me. What is the point of your life if you're not going to be able to enjoy yourself? Sure, working is necessary and is rarely super fun, but one's career should be something that you are at least interested in. I decided then and there that I would audition for CCM's Dramatic Performance department. Why not? What did I have to lose? If I was successful, I would be able to pursue something that I'm truly passionate about and if I failed, I would at least have learned some life lessons. So, I took the plunge. 

My headshot hahahaha. S/O to my dad for taking it in my dining room!

I prepared for my audition for months and struggled through all of the awful paperwork needed to apply to college. I did it all by myself and, let me tell you, it was SO MUCH FUN :/ I got help picking out monologues from some beautiful, lovely drama students friends of mine and they helped me to prepare. I am seriously so grateful that they did. I had no idea how to conduct myself in a serious audition and they helped me so much. My audition went well. I was terrified and nervous, but confident and excited at the same time. It was truly an incredible experience. As I left it, I was amazed at myself. I'm not someone to take a lot of risks, so taking this risk to try to make myself happier in life was kind of amazing for me. All I could do was wait. I waited for about two or three weeks, and then received a letter from CCM. Unfortunately, I didn't make it.

I was devastated in the moment. I couldn't think of what to do since I had no idea what major would be good for me now that the only one I wanted was out of the question. For a few weeks, I floundered around trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life, but eventually everything calmed down. After a few months, I started to really value the experience. I really went for what I want to do with my life. I took a chance and really, seriously tried. I still have the same dream and would eventually love to still be an actor, but the plan has changed now. I want to pursue an MFA (Master of Fine Arts) in Dramatic Performance from another school sometime in the future. Right now, I'm focusing on my English degree. I am just so glad that I had my weird epiphany at the end of last September. If I hadn't realized that I would be wasting my life if I pursued anything but what I love, I would have trudged through my college years studying something I don't care about, furthermore leading to a career I don't care about. I'm not about that life. So, as much as it sickens me to say it, YOLO. It's super true and it applies to almost everyone. Taking risks is how lives change, usually for the better. So, if you're nervous to do something or don't feel like taking a risk, take it anyway. Who knows what it may lead to, or what it will change about you?